Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Adjustments...

I know that life is ALWAYS full of adjustments!  Can you imagine how boring life would be if we didn't have adjustments, challenges, and trials??  I know that I don't have any more adjustments in life than anyone else, but over the past few months I feel like I've had my share.  

It has been an adjustment losing my Dad.  I miss him.  I miss being able to just pick up the phone and get his Fatherly advice that I need SO much!  It's hard to believe it's been just shy of 6 months since he has been gone.  It seems like it has gone fast, yet it seems as if I haven't heard his voice, squeezed his neck, or gotten in one of our father/daughter disputes in eons.  I often find myself asking myself, 'how would Dad handle this?' or 'what would Dad say about this?'  I am grateful for the Tender Mercies where I have felt him and known he was near since his passing!

It has been an adjustment getting use to a new Mom.  I have often felt the easier part was losing my Dad.  Adjusting to a Mother who is just not the same without my Dad here, not that I blame her at all, has been the harder part.  I miss the Mom I use to be able to talk to for hours, get her advice, and rely on so much for extra help in so many ways.  I love her and pray that she can work through her grieving process sooner than later and that I can know how to help her.  

It has been an adjustment having Brandon working full time again.  He started a new job back in September.  Don't get me wrong...we have been extremely blessed getting this job with Caffall Tile, but it would be different if it was a job that allowed him to only be gone 10 hours a day, but that is not the case.  Since the job is in Flagstaff, the nights that he does come home he leaves at 3:30am and gets home around 7:00pm.  So YES it has been a massive Adjustment to be, what I feel, a single mom of 12.  I've learned that I take him for granted on so many levels!  Things like taking the seats in and out of the big van, building a fire, making dinner, helping bathe kids, dealing with our mobile home park, changing out light bulbs, gathering us together for family prayer, and just being here to kiss me goodnight.   One of the biggest adjustments of having him gone is him not being here to watch the kids while I get my exercise, which I long for!!! Never thought I would miss running so much:) Exercising on the eliptical just doesn't do the trick when I can still hear the kids fighting!!:)

AND until these Adjustments stop coming I guess I will just continue to put on my big girl panties and enjoy the ride.   Through all of life's Adjustments I am so grateful I have loving Heavenly Father who never fails to pull me through each hard moment. 




6 comments:

Deni said...

Love you friend. I wish I could make it all better.

Shawna said...

Tiff - all I can say is your are an amazing person! I look up to you so much!

NICOLE said...

You are such an example to me of strength!! You're amazing! Love ya!!!

KaNdRa and JaReD said...

I was wondering when this post was going to come. I know that one has been building in me that I need to get out but I am trying to avoid it too. I'm not quite at the point where you are, but I am already going through some adjustments. I hope you can always remember what your dad would say in times when you need him most. I'm sure it is what the savior would say so that should be easy:) I pray for your mom. She has her share of adjustments too so hopefully in time she will find life to get easier. Sorry about not having your husband around:( I want to cry when Jared isn't home by 6!!
I think about you often and know that you have someone who, somewhat understands:)

debrajo said...

I love that picture of you & Brandon! When did he shave his face? He looks younger.

I'm sorry, Tiff.

For almost a year, now, I've been feeling like I've been adjusting to having 3 kids and haven't felt like I've gotten in the groove of anything, yet. And here you are adjusting to much bigger and more difficult changes. Maybe I should put on MY big girl pants. :)

I love you. You're doing a GREAT job! I'd say don't run faster than you're able, but it looks like you're committed at this point. Just keep moving. That's all you can do. And if NOTHING else gets done in a day, just make sure you say your prayers and read your scriptures with your kids. Don't forget to go to the temple, even if you can't go alone just haul your kids and sit on the grounds, and don't forget the temple prayer roll, either.

I'm sorry--I wish your dad could still be here with you, and that your man could be home more often, and that your mom wasn't missing her sweetheart of 50 years.

HUGS!

Kristal said...

Your post made me cry. I think about you and your family a lot. Thanks for the reminder to put on my big girl panties. I've forgotten lately.